|love at first sight
In my London (nursing school) days, I connected with a good looking male whilst I was enjoying Kings Road. Although come to think of it, perhaps enjoying is not the appropriate term, if I let happen what did. The details are fuzzy, but I caught his eye and he mine and I must have limped (yuch) with him to his residence in the Chelsea area, where I don’t believe garments were removed and the old in and out took place, and as nothing seemed to click immediately after, I left!
How I wish that at least the desperate animalistic desire had overtaken me. like one sees in movies. Sadly it did not… I was all a-fire to fuck, but no I just wanted to make sure that he did not come across my hated leg………………and I was as self-consious as all hell. Oh how the self-loathing kicks in………..slut, whore, idiot!!! stupid…..
I suppose the only bright spot that came out of this debacle was that I transcribed this experience somewhat poetically and indifferently in a letter to R with the hope that her husband would see it…………. Sorry r, you were, are, a really decent lady and I hope that my shallow, selfish desires did not come across too harshly and hurt you !
I recall there was a reply from dear R to the effect that Ty was upset to think of me throwing myself around…………. all the time back then I really only wanted Ty, but come to think of it, I would not have known what to do with him if I had ever really gotten him………….