I am listening to some T REX, downloaded ‘the best of……’, a lot of the tracks I love (think Deborah) but I can’t remember the name of that particular LP, and boy does it take me back to long lonely evenings in my room at the Nurses’ Home, ………….did not quite realize it back then, but I suffered from naturally acquired chronic depression from the Irish (north) side of my family, so I guess along with horrible withered leg (although the rest of me looked damn good), of which I was profoundly ASHAMED, I was a very low young woman that year, so despondent and self-conscious (although I loved the English nurses uniforms back then, I still had to bare that leg with the blue dress and white pinny) and self-loathing, even though I seemed to have a reasonably attractive personality as I was befriended with an assortment of interesting young nurses, as well as the occasional male patient.
Very fortunate and so lucky for me when I, just turned 21, arrived in London in September, 1972, from my loving family in Toronto, my dear nanny lived in Muswell Hill and on occasion on my days off I would go to her and she would treat me like a princess, plus my bohemian Aunt Bee and there was also the object of my intense desire whom I had met a year earlier on a solo visit the city I idolized, (another married alcoholic man, whose wife I loved) were other kind shelters I could retreat to. But the fact that my nursing theory marks were shit, although my nursing practice was very good, I found it difficult to study because of my desperate loneliness, depression, anxiety and perhaps a deep-seated apprehension that I might sink too low were too much to bear and I left the Brook at the end of my first year in London…….
and continued my RN studies in Toronto, graduated in May 1974,
and nursed for 12 years, and found it to be an extremely rewarding career, although horribly stressful and heartbreaking at times, there were moments of triumph and achievment and I believe I became a very good nurse.